October 22, 2014

WMC w/ DJ Oracle: Dance Like Travolta, Sleep Like Edison

Share this post:
 

We came to absorb the wisdom of DJ Oracle, and we were sure we were not worthy. We found him stretched out on a poolside lounge chair at the W Hotel, a bearded older man dressed in a suit jacket and a bathing suit. A club kid thrust a flyer in our face.

“Do not mind about the flyers,” said Oracle, adjusting his sunglasses. “Flyers are merely a tree’s way of saying ‘Don’t allow me to die in vain.’”

Ah. We asked Oracle why he looked so rested, as opposed to us, who on the first day of WMC already look like we’re on a crystal meth binge.

“I get my sleep in the weeks before the show,” said Oracle, as another club kid thrust a flyer in our face. “That is the first rule of Winter Music Conference. Eight hours a night of sleep in the weeks before the show.  At WMC I can get by with 20-minute naps. Like Edison.”

Ah, like Edison.

We asked Oracle what parties he went to last night.

“Mansion,” he said solemnly, “MSTRKRFT and Benny Benassi at Mansion. It was off the hook.”

“Where else did you go?” we asked.

Oracle smiled. “You’re so young. Party chasing is for the young. Rule number two at Music Conference is do not leave a good party in search of a better one. You will regret it, and you will spend most of your night in line, getting elbowed in the jaw by some angry bouncer named Todd. Do you think John Travolta goes party chasing?”

Ah, like Travolta.

Just then, Oracle dipped his hand into his Oracle bag and withdrew what looked like a flask. He took a sip and put it back.

“What’s that?” we asked.

Oracle paused before speaking. “One of the largest expenses during Winter Music Conference week is drink. $7 for a Bud; $14 for a blue thing with rum in it. Many ways exist to get your drink on without going broke, like a Buddhist. The third rule of Winter Music Conference is to drink before leaving your hotel room. Drink en route to the party, and try to sneak in drink wherever you go. Seek out the sponsored parties that offer free drink and they will find you.”

Just then, five young ladies drifted over and stood around Oracle’s lounge chair. “Final rule of Winter Music Conference,” he said.

Huh?

“Attractive women are like currency. The more females in your entourage, the better the chance you have of getting inside the club faster. Just ask one of them to walk to the front of the line, make eye contact with the door man, and politely ask, ‘Can my hot group of friends get inside?’ You think Tiger Woods waits in line to get into a club?”

Ah, like Tiger.

DJ Times has a booth in the exhibit hall. Product announcements coming soon.

Article Tags

Related Posts